Underneath The Underneath
by ai no hikari
Summary: One hides many things under an appearance. [Sakura oneshot]


Underneath The Underneath

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Summary: One hides many things under an appearance. (One-shot)

Author's Note: Made for Dai-nee-chan as a very late birthday present and congratulation for her haircut. So Happy Belated Birthday Dai-nee-chan. Hope you and all others enjoy.

* * *

_"Bravery is being the only one that knows you're afraid." __

* * *

_

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

The silence that filled the room was dark and cliche, for the moment perhaps. The hand on the clock seemed to go slightly slower than usually, and the room seemed slightly larger but it was all because of the damned silence that erupted between the two who were standing. One towered over the other slightly, difference in age yes, as they twitched in each other's company. The smaller one walked towards a nearby recliner and grasped armrest in silent nervousness. Sitting down and sighs coming through her lips she nodded to her elder who in turn came towards the younger girl half curiously half attentive. She slapped two nail-polished hands on the smaller girl's shoulders before flashing a smile-another might have called it dangerous-, and shooting a serious gaze the next. In reality, she as the elder was not so sure about the younger's idea, but it was her choice and her time to choose.

No one could take that away.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

There was a pregnant pause, a sigh, and then a cough.

"Positive."

_-_

_Pulled strands and shut eyes were side effects from the pain she was in. She had been pushed and shoved into the ground, the soil itching at her delicate pasty skin, her body being forced in a motions she did not want it to. She despised the way she was being controlled, the way these people pulled her as if she were on strings a puppet of some sort. Contortion and anger forced her onto her knees, scraping against any object in its way. Her hair, her beautiful hair, was being pulled, it was the string that held her body all together, and losing it might as well be the end, she had so bitterly thought. The calloused fingers that wove into the soft mass yanked and pushed, causing more pain and whimpers to explode from her mouth in bursts. Her captor only smirked when the enemy female pushed her face into the ground, making her taste dirt. She shook the girl's head mockingly as tears began to litter the ground. _

_Why don't we make her suffer by killing the little love sick pig's pretty boys? The attacker suggested with a hint of malice. _

_The girl's eyes grew wide in fear and terror as she bit her lip in attempt to comprehend the situation. The little trickle of blood she had felt was no matter, it was only because she was weak did this happen..Because she was weak. Weak, damnit, the weakest of her teammates and her friends. The only one who never protected herself or others, the one who was the protected. The one forced to watch the backsides of so many others, to never see their face clearly and to always walk two steps behind. The one who could never do a thing without being told to watch from the sidelines in mocked safety. She could never shed blood but yes, oh how she could shed those tears?_

_No...it couldn't end like this._

_Nails dug so deep into the soil that they cracked from several places and lost the sheen she'd worked so hard on. They bled inside and out, but this pain, she would think, is nothing. Nothing. Her attacker had become furious that her victim lost this poor-kunoichi-crying stage and kicked her mid-back in attempt to hear a yelp or a scream. Neither emerged, so she continued to pull and yank in pettiness, whispering about the girl's pretty hair and how she was stupid and a weakling. Watching her pull a secured blade, the attacker snorted and muttered with no worry. As she began to to show its full glean she smirked at her attacker who in turn grew suspicious then shocked._

_The girl moved the blade ever so gracefully to the one object holding her down._

_Her beloved hair._

_In a way it seemed so angelic and peaceful, a weight lifted off her shoulders, a darkened tunnel turned into lightened path. She was the blade and this person who attacked her was the paper, and in all good sense she knew she could not be broken. The blade sliced through ever so slowly, never clinging or attaching, just a straight cut in jagged peaks. She could feel her beloved hitai-ate fall slowly to the ground with a 'clank' and see the attacker pull away from surprise. She stood back to their gaze, even if they not awake to see, and sought out a smile, but returned with a smirk and grimace. She was the blade, the protector, at this moment and yet even later when she shed so much blood it soaked through her already red dress and her forehead was punctured and bleeding she crawled on her knees. She spit blood onto the feet of one of her attackers and looked up, one emerald eye half matted with dried blood, the other half closed. Her eyes shown and when her male attacker seemed angry enough to use a final blow, they appeared._

_Even later when Sasuke saved her and saw Sakura's condition, he didn't question her actions._

_He didn't question her reasons for saving him._

_But he had noticed the threads of light pink hair that first wafted to the ground._

_He was surprised._

_So when she embraced him, he asked her._

_She didn't say a word._

_-_

_She had always known that it could have happened, she just chose to ignore it. He hardly smiled but yes he smirked, and sometimes not at her but she smiled back at him anyway. There was a bond between them that she thought could never be broken, it was only a dream. A fantasy, her inner self had screamed into her nightmares, a fantasy world where only you live in. The one that is a fairy tale, a shadowy fog of reality. During those times, she would tell her inner self to shut the hell up and continue to dream. When she separated reality and fantasy she was happy, when she woke up she was miserable._

_Often she'd tug at her hair when she was nervous, it became an addictive habit she could not break. _

_Everytime she did so, he would ask her again and again why did she do what she did. She'd reply with a smile, a flick of the head, and turn away. She was never the one for solitude and silence, but surrounding such a subject she chose to stay to herself and twiddle her thumbs. She knew he noticed and every now and then asked, but she'd engulf herself into this little world that she created where nothing had happened. Her inner self yelled speaking only the truth that she did not want to hear. She never wanted to hear what the truth and what the facts were, she'd believe them herself in due time._

_And she was right._

_When she learned that he was leaving, she confronted him. She yelled and cried and screamed, inside. The tears that dropped made him slightly falter, and her embrace was warm but not comforting. He could only stare at her solemnly, she could cry her heart out. They watched and waited in each other's company, she kept asking questions that he gave one worded answers to. She clenched her fist so hard, and tugged at her short bangs too long that they began to hurt. She began to ache and burn within herself before she screamed in the midnight sky._

_I LOVE YOU._

_Once again, Sasuke was confused. _

_He wanted to ask her why, but turned._

_She awaited an answer that never came._

_A moment later all she saw was a flurry of black and blue._

_He didn't say a word._

_-_

_She cried and cried when she returned home. Comfort from others did not help her nor did it reassure his return. Naruto's smile and promise stayed instilled in her own mind and she prayed for his success. She damned herself too, for being weak and not doing it herself. But everyday she awoke to a strange deep feeling whereas she wondered if today was the day..The day she'd been waiting for so patiently, the day she'd be able to smile truthfully and stop this faking. And the day did come. But not the way she'd imagined it. Not at all._

_People were injured, people she knew. Not people, friends._

_But Sasuke wasn't one of them, he wasn't here at all._

_After visiting her last teammate she returned to a quiet and empty home. She looked into a mirror and refused the urge to break it with her fist. Trembling she grabbed her blade and slid off her hitai-ate, her hair billowed out and she sighed. Griping the kunai harder she chose a tendril of hair and immediately slashed it. As it flew to her floor, she turned and looked at the reflection. Nothing changed from anyone's view of her, her hair seemed normal ,same as always, but she could never ever.._

_Let it grow._

_She made a vow._

Two years later, she broke it.

Her short, silky hair had grown long under tutelage with Tsunade. She didn't mind, she was far too busy with her training and the healing of those all in the near area. It did stay bubbled underneath the surface, underneath the underneath. She no longer had anyone to see but Tsunade and the occasional Kakashi-sensei. Naruto was gone and she felt relieved even though she knew she shouldn't. She hid any sign of loneliness under a medic's mask and gloves, but sometimes she wondered if Tsunade-sama knew what she was thinking. Perhaps, but those musings she ignored.

At fourteen Sakura saved her first patient and killed her first man.

Somewhere in between that battle, she'd lost her balance and ended up getting a few inches of hair cut. This time however, it was noticeable and a trimming was well needed. She had watched as Tsunade agreed silently and asked her to come to her office the following day. She nodded and walked away.

* * *

Somewhere in between that battle she'd gotten a glimpse of her enemy's eyes.

They looked like his.

So she stumbled and found herself short of hair. Two years worth.

Fate or not, she let it be and killed the man with her bare fist.

The underneath had gotten the best of her.

* * *

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Tsunade had asked softly.

There was a pregnant pause, a sigh, and then a cough.

"Positive." Sakura replied, straightening herself in the chair.

"You're brave Sakura." Tsunade muttered while twirling a medic's scissors between her fingers.

"No, I'm just a coward." She said simply.

When threads of hair wafted to the ground, she wasn't surprised.

She was glad.


End file.
